Take the Time
Mitch Dorr You would be wrong if you thought this is an article shaming deadbeat moms and dads. No, this column is written as much for myself as anyone else. Why does raising kids take so much calendar-looking and planning? Our lives in the 21st century have become busier and busier.
There is more for kids to do now more than ever. Everyone cries out for this opportunity and that opportunity for their kids; well, kids have plenty of opportunities for activities and experiences.
Just this summer, all three of my boys had two weeks of swimming lessons each, attended Bible school, went to the reading program (LOTS) at the community center, played tee-ball and parent-pitch, and who knows what else only their mother (our team captain) can remember.
While our oldest boy Adam likes the youth tennis program in Cook County, we took a break from that during the summer just so we didn't schedule our family to death. Parents sometimes think that their kids need to participate in all of these activities, but time at home together is usually more vital.
While the kids are busy, as parents, we all stay plenty busy ourselves. Work, chores, trips, etc. all takes time. Whether we like it or not, there are some things we need to do, and unfortunately, they take us away from our kids.
Just this past week, I worked five days at the golf course, worked on finishing a graduate paper for my master's degree, sent out letters to the football team, celebrated a family birthday (kinda), mowed the lawn, and worked on cutting and splitting firewood for the winter which seems to be a never-ending job. As parents, we all have a list like that every week.
We get so busy trying to get all of our ducks in a row that we forget that most of the ducks aren't as important as our kids. If we don't pay attention, our kids grow up knowing more about video games, computers, and cell phones and rely on them more than they rely on their parents. Thatis not a good situation for either the parent or the child.
Just this past week I had the day off. It was so tempting to take the whole day to cut and split firewood. I could have got a lot done that day and with football season looming just around the corner, I could have used the time. Instead, my son Jacob and I went out to the west end for some quality one-onone time.
First, we went to Superior National Golf Course to play nine holes of golf. While Jacob is only five years old, he still played all nine holes. He teed off from about 100 yards out and eventually made his way to the green. If golf wasn't enough, riding the cart was even better.
After a bit of golf and a very unhealthy, but perfect fatherson lunch, we headed out to the Oberg Mountain loop and had ourselves a great hike. Jacob led the way and was a great trail guide.
To conclude our day, we found our way to Moguls Tap Room and Grill on the ski hill for some ice cream. This summer I have tried to make time for one special one-on-one day with each of our three boys. It sounds simple to schedule three days out of your summer for your kids, but it wasn't easy to get in all of those separate events.
However, it is easy as parents to get caught up in our work and careers, or our chores and projects around the house. It is easy to want to do this activity or join this league, or go out this weekend. As parents we want to relax as well.
However, when we become parents, we have to give up some of our pleasures and wants and sacrifice them for the betterment of our kids. Thatis parenting. I am still learning that lesson and it is not always easy.
More than anything, the biggest gift a parent can give his child is time. Time together will go further than any other material gift we could give our children.
